From the time we are very small we begin to dream. We dream of becoming a princess or a superhero. We dream of becoming rich and famous. We dream of becoming successful. We dream of finding love and happiness. We dream of building a family which may mean something different for everyone. We dream of living in a world filled with peace. We dream with purpose and desire. Some of our dreams can be scary, some can be frustrating and some will come true, but first they need a plan, a vision and a focus. First they need to be written down, discussed out loud and turned into a goal.
When suffering with depression and anxiety setting goals is probably one of my biggest obstacles. It is both overwhelming and extremely discouraging to say the least. Goals that were once easy to accomplish, simple and realistic are now filled with regret, guilt and negativity. I write my goals down almost daily, even the ones that are straightforward, effortless and uncomplicated for most people like running an errand, getting my nails done or booking an appointment over the telephone will in turn cause me severe anxiety and panic. For many of these simplistic and attainable goals I find myself staring at them on my calendar and moving them over to another day, sometimes taking me the better part of a week to accomplish it.
I have stated before that suffering from depression and anxiety is like playing a game of tug of war. You are constantly being pulled into your past and fearing your future. This continuously vicious cycle has lead me into a very dark place recently as I try and reach some of my goals. Not the small, simple and realistic goals, but the ones that have begun pulling me WAY, WAY back into my past, and CAPSIZING my future.
Even through my darkness I know what motivates me, I know what I would do if I could do more, I know what I want to be able to do, I know what I care most about, I know where I wish my life could be and I know what brings me happiness. With all this in mind I know I need to be realistic, I know I need to focus on what’s important, I know I need to readjust this haze, I know I need to be proud of my accomplishments, I know I need to do this without feeling societal pressure and I know I need to do it for myself and no one else.
Feeling like my life has no meaning or purpose is what is obstructing me from acquiring my goals. I have been taught recently that in order to be successful in achieving my goals I need to start by setting S.M.A.R.T goals. This acronym stands for
R: Realistic &
T: Time Specific
For now I will continue to write down my goals, even the most simple ones. For now I will continue to review my goals, even the most simple ones. For now I will continue to amend my goals, even the most simple ones. For now I will continue to visualize my goals, even the most simple ones. For now I will look for inspiration in attaining my goals, even the most simple ones. For now these are my S.M.A.R.T goals.